Two in one day I know but I don't feel so Wahey anymore. I'm feeling kinda guilty now.
The Beckster has called and she has spoken to J. His bitch-ex has let herself into his house while he was at work and cleared him out. She has taken the fridge, the washing machine, everything.
But that's not why I feel guilty.
He has told Beckster that he likes me and that he felt the weekend went bad coz his mind was elsewhere and that I don't really like him. I do like him though, just not enough for any big romance. The thing is I never made him any promises and when he kept asking what we were getting into I just said 'I have no idea, just see what happens'. I know that's a cop out but at the time I meant it. I was prepared to see how things turned out but at the same time not prepared to make any grand plans. Thing is now I feel guilty coz he seems to like me more than I like him, and I think the weekend was OK. I feel bad for him coz he is getting so much shit from his ex...she is one of those types that says 'I don't know what I want, I think I still love you' when she finds out there may be someone else and then wipes him out the next. I don't want to add to his shit.
I don't like all this grown up stuff you know....I have this great poem thing up on my desk and I think some of it's quite appropriate for today.
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided that I want to accept the responsibilities of an 8-year old again.
I want to go to McDonalds and think that its a four star restaurant.
I want to think M&M's are better than money because you can eat them....
I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all I knew were colours, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother me because I didn't know what I didn't know and I didn't care.
All I knew was to be happy because I was blissfully unaware of all the things that could make me worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair.
That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, hoe to survive more days in a month than there is money in the bank, doctors bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
So...here's my chequebook, my car keys, my credit card bills. I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, coz........