So here I am, still alive and still well (apart from the sore throat I seem to be developing again!)
Christmas and New Year have been and gone in a blur of wine, turkey, vodka, cake and pressies and here we are, already into the second month of the year.
I was feeling.....reflective....thoughtful...contemplative (is that a word??!) yesterday. I drove for an hour to the solicitors to sign the paperwork to transfer the flat that P and I bought together into just his name. Its a year tomorrow since we went to the solicitors to sign the contracts to actually buy the place. Weird to think that so much changed in so little time.
I'm 28 in 3 weeks time and I can't wait! 27 was probably one of the toughest, stressiest years of my life so far.
P and I broke up and while I don't regret how things have ended up I do regret that I hurt him and that things ended so messily.
I moved twice last year. Out of our beloved fishflat, where the X-Wife and I did many ridiculous things (usually drunk) like think it was clever to set fire to photos of ex-boyfriends in candles whilst singing 'I Know Him So Well' extremely loudly! And then another move back to the parentals where I am still currently living.
I was unemployed for about 3 months after taking redundancy from my old job. Voluntary I know, but still stressy. In 3 months I managed to apply for just over 30 jobs before finally getting offered 2 in the same week!
I upset my best friend quite a few times last year by shutting her out of my life, but we sorted it out eventually and I hope she knows that I love her loads and am so very glad she's my friend.
I sat in a hospital room for 3 days with my family and watched my nan die. Even now I can still smell that hospital ward and remember how useless we all felt as we sat and held her hand and stroked her forehead, telling her it was ok to let go but all the while hoping that by some small miracle she would be ok.
*deep breaths*
I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make with this entry, just needed to ramble I guess. I spent a lot of yesterday thinking about how things were, how they ended up, wondering whether they would have been different if P and I had moved somewhere else, if I had taken the other job...all kinds of what ifs that can drive a girl insane!
Maybe its just my way of letting go of all the stuff that went before. Time for a fresh outlook in my 28th year. A time to leave all the baggage behind.
I got an email today which I think should definitely be my new outlook on life:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"