Whoever said exercise is good for you obviously didn't have my personal trainer!!
Last night I ventured into a gym and actually did exercise for the first time in about 5 months! I was soooo fed up with the crapness of my old gym that I have joined a spangly new one where the equipment works and the staff know what customer relations are and are polite!
So far I've been lucky, I've ben able to shift over a stone in weight without exercising but now I am stuck, the countdown to Christmas has begun and I want to be able to lose another 7 1/2 pounds by then, so it was time to bite the bullet and get back in the gym.
Of course I wasn't expecting to be put through my paces quite that much!! As part of my membership perks I get to have one free session with a personal trainer so for an hour he had me rowing, pushing weights, stepping, cycling, cross training and doing sit ups. Have you ever exercised so much that you think you are either a) going to pass out or b)throw up??! Well that was me. By the time I came out I was a sweaty, red faced, puffing wreck!! My new haircut was ruined with bits sticking up and bits plastered to my face...I was the epitome of unattractiveness!!
I think the scariest thing is, I can't wait to get back in there and do it all again! If it helps me shift more pounds I will be the happiest Fairy around!
Last night must have been my night for men trying to finish me off, both physically (in the guise of personal trainer) and emotionally. The Evil Ex seems to be back to his old tricks again. Things were going ok, we would talk every now and then, occasionally go for lunch and I had...actually have...reached a point now where I'm not the naive little girl I was when I met him and I am wise to his game playing. We haven't spoken for about 5-6 weeks. I've emailed to see how he is and he's ignored me so I left it. Then last night I got a text from him asking whether I had called him. Obviously I hadn't so it led to this whole text conversation when he admitted that he didn't know how to start the conversation. 'Hello, how are you, sorry I haven't been in touch, I've been butterfly farming in Outer Mongolia' may have been a better start!! Anyway, after a bit of a heated text conversation he called me. We argued for a bit, then had a normal conversation, then a little while later when we were talking he said that he hadn't been in touch coz he was hiding. Apparently hiding from me so that he didn't tell me he loves me. Which he reckons he does. He wants to know whether there is any chance that I could ever love him again. I'm actually starting to question his sanity!!
I won't deny that part of me always has, and still does, feel something for him. Is it love? No. I think its more to do with the potential we had...the relationship we had and where it could have gone if he hadn't thrown it away. We were good together and he made me deliriously happy...he was meant to be 'the one'.
But now I am meant to believe what he tells me when he has done nothing over the last 4 years but play games with me and lie to me. He told me a long time ago he still loved me, then said that he just said it and it wasn't true. Like I could ever let him wreak havoc on my emotions and hurt me as much as he did before...I don't think so somehow! What can he possibly be thinking??!
Personally I think he's stark raving bonkers but if anyone has any other theories I'd be glad to hear them!
Do I have a secret sign on my head that only nutters can see, or should I be thinking about changing my perfume??! And where are all the sane, normal(ish) guys???!!