So here I am, slowly starting to orientate myself in my new home. I still keep trying to call people from my In-Tray but I�m sure I�ll get the hang of it eventually!! At least now the clock on my PC is at the right time and I�m not an hour behind everyone else.
I went to the local Chinese restaurant last night with my friend Abs. Bec reckons he�s my lobster (we dated about 6 years ago) and that I should get with him, Ali doesn�t see it. My opinion, he�s a lovely guy, yes I find him attractive..but he just doesn�t rock my world. I love him to bits but I�m looking for something more exceptional that that (to steal a line from Bridget Jones). We talked about it last night though. He knows how I feel about him but he knows that I don�t want to be with him. At the moment I�m not sure that I want to be with anyone. Do you ever get the feeling that no-one has the capability to make you totally happy? That�s how I feel at the moment. Everyone has a flaw that means that I don�t want to get involved with them. The truth is I think I�m just running scared. Bec and I were talking at the weekend about the way I cope with upset or heartbreak � push it to the back of your mind, pretend it isn�t happening and that you are ok really. Trouble is sooner or later it catches up with you and I think that�s what�s going on at the moment. Breaking up with Dime hit me more than I would admit at the time. Jeez, I still miss him now, there are always things that make me think of him. I think I just met him at the wrong time. He had this idea in his head about us living together and staying together and having kids and stuff. And although part of me thought that he was good for me and we would be happy, a big part of me ran screaming. That�s what I�m still doing.
I was reading something about horoscopes and stuff mainly to see whether I was a typical Pisces but then I started digging a bit further and looked at rising signs and moon signs. Apparently my moon is in Gemini and it says that �You avoid heavy, demanding emotional involvements and are wary of making personal commitments�. So very very true. Still I�m working on the theory that one day I�ll figure it out!!
Anyway, this isn�t what I was even going to write about today. I just seemed to start rambling and couldn�t stop it so I will carry on with what I was going to write about!
I�ve just got back from the pub and had a very calorie-counted plate of egg �n� chips washed down. (I�m just lining my stomach for the drinks that I will be having in the pub tonight!) and am currently working hard on Ali�s in-flight entertainment pack. I have my list of goodies to buy for it and her challenges are written. I just have to write some for myself now. Anyone with any ideas of things I can get up to while my wife and Si are in Boston then please let me know by Monday coz that�s my deadline for getting it all written and sorted!
Tonight I am heading over to Canary Wharf to meet her (even though she reckons she�s only staying for one!) him, Nick (who�s friends with her) and Langorelli. Tomorrow I�m shopping with my mother to get my b�day pressie (bit late but I�m being fussy and wanted to pick my own) and then I�m off to a party tomorrow night and one of my old school friends at the Beckster is coming over for it now as well so that should be good. Sunday of course is a day of rest and will be incorporating Hollyoaks, As If and the Eastenders Omnibus (can you believe I missed Steve dying..how slack is that!)
I haven�t done Friday shouts for ages so�������.
I�m not going to do any individual ones this week either. I did start to but to be honest, I don�t have the brain capacity for it!